Posts tagged customers

Twice one day people asked for tickets to “Expandables.” Are they speaking with an accent, or do they think it’s a documentary about my pants?

Me, to Customer I Just Handed 43 Dollars in Change to: “Would you like to donate to the Will Rogers Institute?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have any cash.”

Customer, after learning the military discount doesn’t apply to those who have just enlisted: “Fine, but if I die in combat, you’re gonna feel real guilty you didn’t give it to me.”

“Eat, Pray, Love.” People getting the words out of order, I can deal with. These, on the other hand…

“Two for ‘Faith Love Food,’ please.”

“One for ‘Eat, Drink and Be Merry.’”

Customer: “I’ll see ‘Eat Pray Love’ with Julie Andrews.” Question: Who should be more offended, Julia Roberts or Julie Andrews?

Dear filmmakers: when you give a film a quirky title like ‘The Kids Are All Right,’ 50% of the audience will mangle it. “Two for ‘Children Are All Grown Up.’”

A bunch of teenagers just fished a popcorn bucket out of the garbage and took it to the stand to scam a free refill. Say it with me: Ewww.

“4 for Eclipse.” Is that all? “Yes.” Money exchanged. Then, he adds, “And 2 for Solitary Man.” Pays with same money. Then that WASN’T ALL, RIGHT?

English: “Are your theaters selling out tonight?”

Customer: “Are they fillin’ up, like, quick, the movie rooms?”